Board Thread:Creation Box/@comment-4816815-20150821133137/@comment-4199666-20150821140011

Rightio.

The personality paragraph doesn't really flow well. It feels like a bunch of random facts about him put together, but that's just the sentences themselves. There's also basically nothing negative about him. You talk about him pretending to be less intelligent, but does he do that because he's pretentious and snobby or because he's insecure or maybe he thinks too much about what other people think of him. Just try to think of all sorts of things your character could be other than 'caring' or 'awkward'.

The history is also really, really brief. A lot of the stuff feels like it also leans more towards being trivia points than actual history. Did Kai learn all five languages all at once or did he just start with Korean and English? What effect did that have on him?

I just feel like you're trying to summarise his life too much. Don't be afraid to talk about little memories he has. For example, "One day when he was twelve, he was out in a park and he noticed some little kid with his kite in a tree, so he climbed up the tree and got it out. Unfortunately he fell out of the tree afterwards and broke his arm." I'm not saying this happened to him, but that, to me, tells you a little bit more about him, and it shows you that he cares and puts the welfare of others before himself. It's not just expected that we assume.

What is the band's name? What languages does he speak? Has he had any relationships in his life? If yes, who? What was the relationship like? If not, why not? Has he ever had a specific friend who really stood out to him? Has he done any singing competitions?

These are all just some starting points, but they're all here to help you come up with more developed characters and give them depth. You don't have to use my examples, but these are just a few.