Template:Nora Cooke/"beautiful"

“My brother killed himself

on the twenty-eighth Thursday of last year

and I missed four days of work

and my mom wanted to know ‘Why’.

My brother

he was always a fan of beauty

but what he did

was not beautiful at all.

And last week I got the news

that one of my good friends from high school

had overdosed

(again)

except this time

she’d gone too far

and now she was gone.

And I had a hard time falling asleep at night

and her mother

hugged me tight

and thanked me for coming to the service

but I did not

want to be there at all.

This is not

beautiful.

The girl down the street

would’ve turned 21 last year

and I can scarcely imagine

the wild times she would’ve

(should’ve)

had.

But she is buried six feet deep

after falling nearly 300

and she did not leave a note.

This is not

beautiful.

My freshman year of college

and my roommate was beautiful

and how I wanted to be just like her.

But she wore herself down

till she was

almost invisible

and if you blinked

you had to go and find her all over again.

So now her parents are no longer supporting her college tuition

but are paying her hospital bills

watching their daughter crumble.

This is not

beautiful.

So y’all can take your narcissistic

romanticizing

and glamorizing

of self harm and eating disorders and committing suicide

and shove them as far up your ass

as you possibly can.

Starvation is not beautiful.

Killing yourself is not beautiful.

Sadness

is not beautiful.

This note I am writing

is not beautiful.

But you

you are beautiful

and it’s about damn time you start believing it.

”

— 	(via runiqu)