User blog:Minithepeanut/I Owe You All An Apology (Or 500)

Hey guys,

If you know me, and have known me in the past you would probably already know that I have almost NO life whatsoever outside of the internet. I've always been dedicated to this place and spent whole days on here on occasion. I had idea after idea after idea and it was awesome. For a while I couldn't stop writing out new self-RPs because I loved it so much.

Now? I apparently take up to five days to reply to things. I don't even know how it got to five days but I feel awful about it. If I talk to you regularly outside of lumblr (looking at you Blub) I've already apologised a million trillion times but I legit feel awful and I always feel so guilty for abandoning this place like I have.

If you don't like reading stuff just ignore this bit until you get to the next bold bit.

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Basically, it started back in July/August when I had heaps of time on my hands and everyone else was busy. Now, I'm not criticising anyone else for their busy schedules. I got kind of bored, I wandered into a tumblr RP and I grew to love it there because it was such a different environment. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to forget about Lumblr but the longer I spent on there, the more I started to wish I could change things on Lumblr. They're all huge changes and I can tell most people here like things the way they are, which is why I haven't tried to change too much (except for the schools).

Among other things I loved was the fact that I could go into more mature themes on tumblr. (I don't mean smut necessarily but heavier themes that I don't always feel comfortable writing on Lumblr). Another thing was the fact that I was so limited in how many characters I could have, I was actually, in a way, forced to make more connections and develop my small handful of characters more than if I had like fifty characters. I have four characters on tumblr at the moment and other than the one I just made last week, I'm sure I could tell you a million headcanons about each of them. I could talk about them for days. I can't even remember what some of my characters' middle names are here.

Now, this is coming out really bad but it's not meant to. I genuinely do love Lumblr. I love my characters but I feel like I'm just not as attached to them as I could be. I would love to have an environment which focuses more on developing a small handful of characters with a million connections, rather than having a million characters with a small handful of connections. (Maybe this is just me and I suck at making connections though).

The other thing is that I'm now working (part time) and back at uni (3 days a week) plus I've taken on a number of mentor roles, plus study groups etc. etc. Point is, I'm a busy bee. Also, I don't know if all of you have necessarily half-disappeared from this place and tried to return and catch up on missed news, but it's not easy. There are SO many characters here and SO many wonderful plots and for me it's so hard to even have a clue at what's going on because I don't even know where to start. (I do thank those who kept me up to date with self RPs tho bc that always makes me smile.

Finally, it's really hard to keep muse for characters when you never RP them and you come back and you're like "man I have no ideas and you only have one friend" so you just get extra bored but you don't wanna drop them because you feel bad for that one friend.

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TL;DR: I have a few reasons for disappearing but I'm still a trashlord.

If anyone is interested in talking about some of the changes and stuff, I'd love to (tomorrow tho I gotta go to sleep). If anyone wants to tell me I'm trash or suggest demoting me I would not blame you at all. If people think it's unfair for me to still be an admin, I completely get that and I will not be upset if anyone suggests that I step down. The only reason I haven't is because I'm attached to this place & have trouble letting go.

Anyway, my brain is mush, so here's an FAQ.

Q: Wait, so does this mean you're leaving Lumblr?

A: Nope. You might see some changes with me though. Like getting rid of a majority of my characters (some which have already disappeared). I might try a (semi) fresh start with characters, excepting a few of my favourites.

'''Q: WHAT? NO! I'll miss them!'''

A: Me too, but I really want to develop my characters and love them. Plus, if I ever get into a drabble writing mood I'll probably just publish it anyway.

Q: Wait, who are your characters?

A: Good question. Probably doesn't matter.

'''Q: Are you still going to do the Lumblr Wiki Awards? I noticed Blub is doing the Featured Stuff now.'''

A: Unless I say otherwise, I'm still doing the awards. I have forgotten about them lately because I just started uni again and my head is all over the shop and I'm sorry. I was never officially the person in charge of awards or featured stuff though, so it's not like I would be giving up my role. I just have a system already sorted for awards which makes it easier, but in theory, literally anyone could run it. (Well, sort of. You'd need to be able to highlight threads).

Q: Is there anything I can do to help?

A: Basically I would just love to have plots. Pls message me. Like, I know there are character histories and stuff but I love just having a short little bio which describes your character succinctly so I can think of my characters and which ones would fit. Once I sort that out, I can look at their proper bio and actually fit them in properly. Ya feel?

Q: Is that another suggestion?

A: It wasn't until I thought of it just now but we could maybe add a brief description to character pages.

'''Q: You act like you haven't had any ideas? Didn't you just make a new character?'''

A: Sort of. Not really. She's a character I made in September for Tumblr and she still exists but with a new FC and stuff. She's going to be the first of my new generation of high focused characters.

Q: Whatever you wanna comment on this blog.

A: Possible answer or smartass remark or meme.

Anyway kiddos. Love u all. Especially u Cece. The actual kiddo of the group.

- Mini