Board Thread:Creation Box/@comment-24930755-20140921022408/@comment-3058106-20140921025051

Alright, first things first, I'm a bit confused about the paragraph about Ciara and not telling her. Do you mean that he didn't tell her about he and Jessica being in the hospital or what, exactly? It'd be hard to keep something like that a secret from your younger sister. Since their parents were killed and Nathan and Jessica were in the hospital, someone would have had to take care of Ciara and they would have told her what was going on. Plus, she should be able twelve years old when this is happening and they would have known that she would figure it out on her own. Maybe change that section of his history up a bit and explain more about what exactly Ciara was suspicious about. Or, just get rid of that part completely since it's a bit odd for a twelve year old girl to not know about her parents' deaths and/or her siblings being in the hospital. Like, usually people will immediately call any family members about what is going on and she would have had to attend her parents' funeral. I don't know. Maybe if you explain that part a little better it will make more sense to me.

Also, could you add a bit more about how Nathan felt after his parents' deaths. Did he go into depression? Did he begin to wonder what could have happened if he'd been the one driving instead? Does he ever feel the hard burden of having to take care of his siblings now? How was the process of getting guardian rights of his sisters? While that was going on, who did they live with? Did he ever get to go to college, or was he too busy taking care of them, no longer able to do his own thing? Does he get help from other family members - aunts, uncles, etc - or is it all on his own? Does he ever want to just give up on his sisters and have maybe their grandparents take care of them? There's a lot of questions to be asked about this part, so maybe just elaborate a bit more on it.