Board Thread:Creation Box/@comment-31628060-20141217174658/@comment-3058106-20141217213115

Alright, so I like everything and it has a great detail about her history (which I love), but I'd like for you to add abit more about things besides Mark. Maybe talk a bit more about her childhood and family life. Explain more about why her parents didn't want her dating a bad boy, so to speak. Talk about her feelings about it all too.

Also, try and separate the history into paragraphs to make it easier to read. Read over your grammar too since there were a lot of mistakes.

So just add that bit of info and you should be all good to go!